James: Mommy, when I turn five can I have a birthday party?
Me: Of course, where do you want to have the party?
James: I was thinking of the dangerous zoo.
Me: Oh, I don't know about that. How about at Monkey Joe's?
James: Oh, sure. Can I invite Joe?
Me: Monkey Joe?
James: No, Painter Joe.
[
Painter Joe is the dude who paints our house].
Me: Well, I guess we can invite Painter Joe.
James: Oh good. And I want dangerous toys, too, okay? For when I turn five? Like a dangerous bear with claws and a cat with ears.
Me: What is dangerous about a cat with ears----
James: Oh and I want a pet puppy. Oh, wait, I can't have a puppy. You're allergic. I'll just have a toy cat with ears and a dangerous puppy toy.
Me: Aw. Buddy, I'm sorry I'm allergic.
James: That's okay. It's not your fault. Allergies are dangerous.
Me: Yes, they are.
James: I can't wait to be five. And then six.
Me: Me too, buddy.